But here’s the thing.

Aspen is the first boy that gave America that butterflies in your stomach feeling. For two long years she spent the worst and hardest parts of her day reminding herself that the bad stuff didn’t matter because someone loved her. For a girl who grew up thinking she’d never do anything more that sing songs at parties— than be background noise— Aspen was the only future she ever hoped for. He would be her family; he would give her a family. If you’re at all aware of how much she loves her own, can you imagine the way she felt about starting one with a boy who sacrifices so much of himself for the people in his life?

And Aspen is prepared to sacrifice to have America. He already has. Aspen gives up everything he can for his family, but America always trumps them. She even trumps himself. The pennies in her jar all added up could be food for his younger brothers, clothes for his younger sisters, a chance to leave the light on a little longer in the night. The time devoted to seeing her in secret are lost hours of work, but he hands them over gladly at the chance to see her, hold her, kiss her. Him asking her to put her name in the Selection was a stupid idea born of wanting her to have the best. He’s very proud and intensely aware of just how much she’ll lose the day she takes his name. But, in essence, he already treats her the way he expects a man to treat his wife. For better or for worse, forsaking all others.

It’s unfortunate that you can’t see what I can. Because I’ve seen Aspen look around his family’s apartment, already bursting at the seams, and worry that America will be disappointed the day she’s forced to move in there. I witnessed him sitting up late into the night, watching reruns of The Report and specials about the Selected because he missed her voice. You don’t know how shocked he was that she wasn’t eliminated immediately, how worried he was that Maxon was falling for her already. You didn’t see his face the day the draft came through and he resigned himself to his fate, repeating in his head that it was better that she left since he was probably going to die anyway.

So, no, you don’t have to ship them. But that doesn’t mean there’s no reason to. Don’t doubt for a second that Aspen loves her blindly, almost to a fault. And, while Maxon is moving into America’s heart, Aspen was there first.

Since I decided to make my laptop all pretty, people have been asking just how I did it. I didn’t document it in pictures, but I figured I could show you what I used and give you some tips on doing it yourself.

First, I chose a theme. I went with clear and pearly gems, and purple flowers. I thought they’d look nice on the green of my laptop. If you have a colored laptop, take it with you where you go to buy your supplies to make sure they’ll look pretty.

Second, I made it as easy as I could. If you look, you can find pre-made shapes or swirls in the fancy sticker section at Michael’s. I think I bought two big sheets of pre-swirled stickers, one small one, two packs of individual gems, and the pack of flowers. Some of this stuff was on sale, so I ended up spending less than $20 on this. And ALL of it was sticky already, so I didn’t have to hunt for the right glue.

Three, I got home and cut around the edges of the swirls and gems and laid them out on my laptop. DO NOT just start going crazy here. Make a plan. Once these things go down, they’re hard to get up. If the swirls weren’t working in their original designs, I cut portions off and placed them somewhere else. Use larger solitary gems to unify the individual pieces, too. Unity, people!

And four, I knew when to stop. I think I might actually be walking the line of doing a little too much, but I had a few pieces left over. I didn’t want to put them on my laptop for the sake of putting them on when I was happy with what I had.

I’ve gotten to use my lappy in public once since doing this, and it honestly makes me feel a bit more inspired. If you decorate your lappy, please send a picture! 

On Friday, I went to Mt. Tabor High School to speak at two classes. This is an image of the creative writing class studying my short story, In the Clearing . Not gonna lie, it was totally humbling to have them actually break it down. They had even written some pieces from other characters’ POVs, and every one I heard was AWESOME! I brought some home, and I’m going to hoard them like buried treasure.

My speaking event at the actual BookMarks Festival was one of the last ones on Saturday. And that was fine until this giant rain/wind storm pretty much shut down the whole thing. After a short delay, I ended up doing my event in an art gallery instead of the outdoor stage. These ladies made up part of the crowd, and I’m so glad they braved the storm. Besides having fantastic questions, they were so much fun to talk to! And Megan there (cute chick in the stripes beside me) was celebrating her birthday! She’s a pretty epic fan, seeing as she made Guyden a baby blanket back in the day. Which I still have. So. Freaking. Rad.

To anyone who came to my reading, I’m very sorry. You might remember that as I was being introduced by my lovely friend Corey, I flew into a giggle fit, totally distracting everyone and ruining the semi-serious vibe. That’s because my friend James held up this request for Freebird on his phone. I lost it. Sorry! But you’ve gotta admit, that’s pretty dang funny.

Remember those six awesome girls? One of them (Maddison, I think), requested I sign her book with one of my haikus about Robert Pattinson. After much fretting over syllables, this is what came out. (Rob, if you’re reading, that offer still stands.) 

As I mentioned, I went to Mt. Tabor High School on Friday. Maggie, one of the students there who was volunteering at the event, made this for me. This is what happens when people have access to your Facebook account and know about the things you obsess over. Maggie and Corey, in case you’re wondering, Callaway laughed about as hard as I did. The only issue is where do I keep something this awesome? Still looking for the right place.

Besides all the fun, I can’t say enough about how great the people working the festival were. They fixed my misspelled nametag, took care of traveling and food around town, and went out of their way to make sure my mom and Zuzu were comfortable. I had a blast, and if we crossed paths, I hope you did too! 

The Selection is out in the world, and thanks to you all, it’s doing very well. I get notes every day from people saying it’s one of their faves now, and there are some great tumblr pages dedicated to it, and I’m super happy.

The Elite is all but done! The next step is the first pass pages, which means I get to see the book the way it will be printed. And I’m pretty sure I get to show you the cover art next month! Eeeee!

I’m working on the novella right now, and I can’t tell you how much fun I’m having. I’m so stoked to share it with you next March!

And, of course, there’s Book 3, still in its awkward teenage years, all gangly and tucking its hair behind its ears all the time. Once the novella is done, I’m going to help her adjust to life, and in two years, she’ll win prom queen. Wait and see.

...So, yeah, a lot’s going on. But have you noticed a theme? All I’m doing is writing. I used to create in lots of ways. I sang and was on a dance team. I baked, made tons of videos, and ripped up books to make art. Unless you count the tiny human, I haven’t made any non-writing stuff in a while.

People ask about conquering writer’s block a lot, and while I’m not having any at the moment, one of the things I do is make stuff related to the story. Designing clothes, making family trees, drawing blueprints. This stuff excites me about my writing and makes me want to dive back in. But I also think non-writing creativity benefits your story telling.

Last night I decided I was going to make something, and what ended up happening was an art journal. I figured I’d share my book and its theme, just in case it inspired you.

For my book, I decided to use an actual book. This one came from a thrift store. I bought it for its illustrations.

Then, I gutted it. I tore out a few pages every so often to give room for the bulkiness I knew I’d be adding eventually. Then, I grabbed what was sitting around and used that to make some art.

For my journal, I’m going with a booky theme. Of course. I decided I would pick up a book, turn to a random page, pick a sentence, and just make something surrounding it. My first page comes from Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson.

It’s nothing spectacular. Just because I like to make art doesn’t mean I’m particularly good at it. That’s not really the point.

Anyway, I had so much fun, I made another one. This one comes from Shannon Hale’s Book of a Thousand Days.

So this is the start. I’m hoping to make at least one of these every week, just to give me another outlet. If you’re like me and working away, I encourage you to step away from the keyboard. It’ll make coming back so much fun.

We’re scheduled to go in July 9^th to have Zuzu. I VOW to at least tweet some kind of picture so you all can see her. It makes me giddy that so many of you have been with me through this pregnancy (and some with Guyden’s, too!) and listened to me fret and be excited, and you’ve done the same right along with me. So, yeah, you’ll get to see her. But I hear recovery from c-sections can be tough, so it’ll still be a while before I’m fully back.

Also, some FAQs I get in my emails:

1. Your book is rad! Ok, not exactly a question, but I am grateful to anyone who takes the time to not only read The Selection but write and tell me they enjoyed it. Thank you SO MUCH! Each of these little notes is precious to me.
2. When is Book 2 out? What’s it called? What happens? We don’t have an official date yet, but I’ll put it on the website once we do. Everything else I can tell you is in this video.
3. Would you do an interview for my blog? I so wish I could! I love book bloggers! Right now, no. But maybe later in the fall. We’ll see.
4. Can you send me some swag? Again, I wish I could, but no. The only exception to this is for people who want to have their book signed. If you send your copy of The Selection (or The Siren) to my PO box with a self-addressed stamped envelope or box, I will sign it and send it back to you. I will have my minions checking the box for me, so it might be slow, but it will come back to you signed.
5. How can I be a better writer? Here’s the short version of what I usually say: Read everything, don’t neglect the technical side of writing, let yourself daydream, and get a thick skin. There are much better people to ask that than me anyway, so get on twitter and stalk some authors.

I’ll still be popping onto twitter and FB from time to time, but blog posts and videos will be few and far between. Gotta take care of me and my wee ones. And you want me to get the rest of these books written, right? So know I’m still hearing you, I just won’t be able to interact as much.

Thanks for being so cool.

UPDATE July 7th:

     6. Tell me more about the TV show! Okay, if you're just getting into the swing of things The CW passed on adding The Selection to its fall lineup. BUT they are very eager to continue working on the show. All I know right now is that the script will be reworked and a few actors might be recast, and with any luck we'll see it on TV next spring or summer. Stay tuned for updates this fall!

There are levels of Crazies, and I can’t prepare you for all of them. I’m just now remembering an author friend walking around a convention a while back with his then girlfriend while one of the Invade Your Life Crazies stood nearby pointing and wailing because she was in love him and couldn’t compute seeing him with another girl. Yikes, right? I’ve yet to meet anyone on that level. But here are a few ways to handle the Temporary Crazies, the ones who will hop into your signing line and park there like it’s Duck Appreciation Day, and you’re a toddler with a poor grip on his PB&J. They’re harmless but very loud, and you really want to stay away from their crap. Here’s how:

Tip 1: No sudden moves around the Crazies. They don’t realize they’re making you and everyone around you incredibly uncomfortable. If you start flailing when they delve into topics that genuinely provoke the calmest parts of your soul, it will only alarm them, and the crazy level will increase. Stay cool.

Tip 2: Smile and nod. No, I don’t understand why dying your dog’s fur that color effects world peace, but if it means that much to you, cool. *smiles*

Tip 3: Don’t take it personally. With these Crazies, they don’t care who you are. Your bestselling book and potential TV series are speed bumps in their monologue about bras or reheating garbage or whatever it was they were talking about before they abruptly switched gears midsentence. It’s okay to emotionally disengage until your Spidey Senses stop tingling.

Tip 4: This is what your friends are for. Callaway has gone to all of my store events, and it’s a nice idea to have someone with you to grab water or whatever. And usually someone working for the shop is nearby monitoring the event. Make eye contact. Make special eye contact. And pray that one of them helps you.

If more than 5-10 minutes go by and they’re still making an aggressive political statement or asking you to endorse their homemade body paint, you’re entering the fake-a-heart-attack stage there, and you just do whatever you must to survive, okay?

JUST. SURVIVE.

And it was awesome. 

I had so many wonderful surprises that day, including friends unexpectedly coming in from out of town, Liz running around in a flaming red wig, and the line that seemed to go on and on of people wanting to pick up the book! But, I wanted to share with you the top three moments of the day:

Number Three: This guy drove up from Charlotte (about a three hour trek) to get a copy of The Selection signed for his wife who couldn’t make it. That chick is rad, and her husband is rad, and that made my day. It was humbling.

Number Two: Nothing makes me happier than to see a guy in line! Love to see the boys reading my books. So when this one guy came in, gushed all over me, and asked to get a picture together, I was totally stoked. And then, seconds later, he tried to walk out the door without paying for his book… I don’t know if he just spaced out or thought the books were free, but it was SO UNCOMFORTABLE telling him he had to go pay for it. But I’ll never forget it.

And Number One: I had lots of free things at the party. There were cupcakes for anyone passing by, tons of bookmarks, and I even gave away goodies at random to people coming in the store. But the one thing I wasn’t expecting to be taken was my décor. I threw a bunch of random teal and silver and white things in my bag, not knowing what I’d use when we set up. There was a lot of space in front of the cupcakes, so my mom put out these glass stones I had. After a few minutes of milling around the cupcakes, this older woman picks up the stones in her hands, looks and me and asks “Are these free?” I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just said yes, and she took a handful. Then, after walking away and deciding she hadn’t grabbed the right colors, she came back and switched some out. I was cracking up!

All in all, it was an awesome day, and the dedication of some readers along with the randomness of others made it completely unforgettable. I can’t thank the people who came out enough, or the wonderful gang at the Christiansburg Barnes & Noble for making the whole thing feel easy.

When I have a release party for Book 2, I’ll be expecting everyone to show up in ball gowns. Even the boys. So prepare yourselves.

Since you were cool enough to ask, here are a few ways that you could help me (or any other authors you really like) promote their books.

1. Buy the book. I know it’s kind of obvious, but let me just go ahead and say it. I like writing books, and the way I get to do more of that is if you buy them. So, ya know, if you feel so inclined, go for it.
2. And be smart about how you buy. You can order it off of Amazon, B&N.com, or go to your favorite indie store if you’re lucky enough to have one nearby. In general, numbers from Walmart are totally ignored, so even if I sell a million copies there, the powers that be don’t notice it. If you’ve pre-ordered, that’s good, too. You’re probably already on the right track, but I thought I’d mention it just in case.
3. Tell your homies. If you enjoy the book, tell your friends about it. Word of mouth is still the best form of promotion, and that is entirely in your hands. So if you stayed up all night finishing it, don’t be shy about mentioning that to your BFF. And the people at your bus stop. And your dentist. Okay, well, maybe don’t be that creepy. If you know someone who would like it, let them know.
4. Write a review. Now, unless you’re a book blogger or a serious fan, taking the time to write an actual review might be too big a task to ask of you. I get that. So, here’s an alternative: like someone else’s review. It’s way faster, and just as good. If you hop over to Amazon, you can like one of these 5 star, 4 star, or 3 star reviews, depending on how much you enjoyed it. If you go to Goodreads (which you have to be a member to like reviews on the site), I would suggest this star-free and totally lovely review.
5. If you come to an event, support the store. This is just a courtesy thing. The stores are being kind enough to host me, so do me a favor and buy something from them to say thanks. If you’ve already bought The Selection, that’s cool. Get another book or buy a coffee or whatever. As someone who has watched all the bookstores leave her area, I’m totally for helping out the ones that are still around, especially the ones who are so helpful to me.

And, really, that’s pretty much it. Just your excitement up to this point has been so wonderful for me, and I appreciate it more than I can say. Tomorrow, The Selection will be out in the world, and you can go snatch it up. I hope that you do, and that you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

Seriously, guys, thank you.

Thanks for listening.

June 5^th, 2011:

So The Wall Street Journal has written an article about darkness in YA. And they aren’t happy. It seems they rarely are, but whatever. In the wake of this, Miss Maureen Johnson started a hashtag #yasaves and has asked people to share how YA has saved them. My story needs a bit more than 140 characters, but here it is:

I live in Blacksburg, Virginia. If you’ve heard of this town at all, it’s probably in reference to Virginia Tech and our fantastic football team. Go Hokies!

But about four years ago, we were famous for an entirely different reason. A gunman opened fire on our campus killing 32 people and himself. It devastated the school as well as the town. If you don’t live here, it’s kind of hard to explain how integrated the two are, but they’re both fluid and impress upon each other.

This is my home.

At the time, my husband worked on campus, my best friend lived on campus, and since we go to a campus-based church, nearly everyone I knew was a student. Even as a townie, I lost someone I knew. It’s hard to explain just what this did to me, and I know I’m not alone.

At first, I kept busy and did okay, but as the year passed, I was emotionally unstable. I would cry if I tried to experience any emotion. I cried at Disney World, I cried in church, I cried doing anything. I started forgetting things, and poor Callaway was in a constant state of repeating himself. I stopped smiling. I remember that now, just how little I smiled or laughed.

In the fall, I caved and went to a therapist, and she helped me find some things to give me order and routine. That worked a little, but the thing that helped the best was something I stumbled into accidentally.

Just after the first anniversary of the shootings, I was like “That’s it. I’m just going to write a story and give my problems to a character and see how she deals with them, because I can’t anymore.” And I did. But I never finished that story. A few weeks in, I woke up with the idea that would become The Siren. I wrote every day for a month to finish that story, and after that the idea for The Selection and a bunch of other little stories were born and are waiting their turn to be told.

The Siren has language, a near rape, assault, and thoughts of suicide. And it saved my life. It was my path back to normal. The Selection (pending editing) will have some heavy issues in parts of the trilogy too. It’s just part of the story. But now, a year out from publication, it has become something amazing and is already making people excited, and every second of this journey is a gift to me. It’s saving me.

Maybe YA is dark sometimes, sure. But you know what? A few months ago when I sat down and read Jennifer Brown’s Hate List, I felt comforted. I’m glad someone wrote that story, because I needed to read it. I felt stronger when I was done. And I’m 30.

It’s okay to talk about the bad stuff because the bad stuff is out there. It makes us weirdos feel not quite so weird. The lovely thing about this country is the right to not read or listen to or watch things we don’t want to. It’s freedom. So I’ll write what I want, and I’ll be stronger for it, and if you don’t want to read it… don’t.

This is the book in its hard bound glory. Even though I've had the dust jackets forever, seeing it wrapped around an actual book is crazy! There's no ARC stampy thingy on the side. I'm in love!

This is what is waiting just under the cover. Isn't it lovely? It looks like a diary to me, which I'm totally nuts about. Perfection! 

And, finally, this might be my favorite thing. Maxon, America, and May all write notes at different parts in the story. They each have their own handwriting now, and they're so perfect. I couldn't have picked them out better myself.

Another cool thing is that this copy has my acknowledgments page. Nice to see all the thank yous lined up and pretty. :)

After all this time, I can't believe it's right around the corner! I hope you guys love it!