General

About Yesterday...

Yesterday, I went to see a movie with some friends, and I was very happy about this. It’s hard for me to get out sometimes, and I really love going to the movies. We saw The King’s Speech, which I have to say I absolutely loved. As I work on The Selection, I think a lot about what it means to be born into obligation. Or to want more or less than you have. Also, it was just plain old touching.

My friend Jenna and I left first, talking on the way out. I paused to call Callaway. I was going to go to the store, but he told me not to. He said he’d just go for me later, so I headed home.

About halfway there, a deer jumped the guardrail. I could just tell that I was going to hit her, and I know it sounds silly, but for a split second, I was heartbroken. I honk when squirrels pause in the road, and I rescue turtles trying to cross the street. I’ve never hit an animal. There was no way I was going to stop before I hit her. I was in the right lane and didn’t have the chance to look in the left before I tried to move. But it was dark out and in my periphery I could tell there weren’t any headlights beside me, so I started moving into the other lane. Not a whip or a jerk. In that moment, I was pretty calm. Especially for me.

I moved, but it didn’t matter. The deer hit the front right of my car, actually pushing me deeper into the left lane, leaving hair in the spaces where metal meets plastic. The next part’s a little unclear. I hit something, and I don’t know if it was the man behind me hitting me, or me running into the other guardrail. All I know is that I whipped back and forth pretty quickly from three separate blows to the car and the only thing I could see was the exit sign. Blacksburg. Virginia Tech. Smart Road.

I sat there gripping the wheel for a moment, waiting to see if more was coming. When it didn’t, I started to notice a throbbing pain in my head. I’d hit the window. I made my way over to the shoulder and tried to figure out what I was supposed to do. My bag had gone flying, and my phone had fallen out, and I couldn’t find it. I heard a tap on my window and started looking around, trying to find the source. I was really disoriented. Then I looked out my passenger-side window to see Jenna standing there. She recognized my license plate and stopped. She called 911 while I called Callaway, and the whole gang came with lights and sirens blaring.

Two other guys had stopped, since they saw the whole thing. The driver said to his friend “Hey look at that!” and pointed to the deer flipping and flying across the road. They stayed to tell the cops about the deer, but it wasn’t necessary. She sat by the side of the highway a ways behind us, just looking around. The cops were debating putting her down, afraid she was suffering, but after a while she got up and jumped the guardrail and ran back into the woods. They say that means she’ll probably be fine. When they’re hurt beyond help, they know and just lie there.

The man who hit me was a really nice guy and wasn’t upset with me at all. His car was totaled, I’m sure. The whole front end was crushed in, and he had to get a tow truck. He said he’d been looking for an excuse to get a new car anyway.

Callaway came eventually. He had Guyden at home, and was debating leaving him or bringing him, wondering if I’d be at the accident or taken to the hospital. Children really change things. I can’t express my relief that Guyden wasn’t in the car.

My car, which came to me under kind of sad circumstances and has only been mine for three and half years, didn’t really feel up to the task of making it home. She’s at the shop, and we’re waiting to hear if she stays or goes. I really like her, so, I’m eager to know.

I am fine. I have a bump on my head and bruise on my shoulder, but that’s as far as any signs of injury go. My teeth and ribs hurt, I’m guessing from clenching, and then there are strange ribbons of pain, like two inches of my hairline that throb for no reason, and this feeling that someone is pulling a string through my abdomen and tying it off. I’m achy, but good. Thanks for everyone checking in on me. I’m totally fine and will be back to bugging you with silliness soon.